Military Lessons Updated 8/03/12

What I have learned about the Military….

1.     The needs of the Navy always come first.

2.     If it was not issued to you then it does not matter (i.e. Family, Spouse, Kids)

3.     The military is allowed to give your family meaningless pieces of paper which are meant to thank them for supporting the military member.  But really are the military's polite way of saying "Please use this piece of paper to fill the void in your life because we took you spouse and father/mother away for as long as we want to".  

4.     The military is also allowed to give the military member meaningless pieces of paper which have no use for any type for advancement.  It is just the military's polite way of saying "Thank you for doing what you had no choice but to do, because we own you".

5.     Just because you have my back does not mean I have to have yours.

6.     Promises given to a military member actually mean we are getting ready to screw you.

7.    Exceptional Family Member's are no more then an extra step in which the detailer  has to avoid to do his job.  And having a EFM only means that the military member needs to be stationed close to a hospital that can take care of the EFM.  It actually means nothing for the EFM.

8.     Just because the military member is obligated to serve and complete his/her contract does not mean that the military has to.  That is why the military has the Enlisted Retention Board and the military even puts out results like it is a good thing.

9.     Just because there is a title of "Military Ombudsman"  does not mean that the spouse can actually talk to them.  Because if you happen to be displeased by anything that is happening all it will do in the end is cause a higher up meeting involving the military member and the spouse just being told in the end to never talk to the ombudsman again.  And sometimes the appointed "Military Ombudsman" is invisible, which is typically better for the military member.

10.     Just because you know every thing about you military member does not mean that you are actually related to them.  There is no way to verify who you are over the phone, because they would know exactly which military member I am related to if I say nothing and meet them.  

11.     If you are told by Personnel Support Detachment (Navy PSD) that the type of funding you are allowed to receive will be given to you when you return from deployment (Dislocation Allowance DLA) it just means that we really don't care about you and by the time you get back you will no longer qualify.  

12.     If you are told by Personnel Support Detachment (Navy PSD) that the you will receive back pay at your next command after you transfer that just means we don't want to fix your pay here and neither will the next PSD.

13.     Just because the military member is stationed at a certain command at a certain base doesn't mean we will actually give you a place to stay on that base or provide transportation back and fourth.  Or even that their is BEQ's on the base when you are on unaccompanied orders.

14.     If you are dual military their is always one command that has the right to not understand that the other military member actually has to show up to their military job.  And they have a right to actually ask the other military member "They actually care that you show up to work?".  

15.     Just because the military member is told when they are to deploy the command has the right to call the military's family and say that they are deploying now.  And after the military member arrives at the location (typically overseas) their are no plans or supplies ordered to do the job so they have to "hurry up and wait".  

16.     The military has the right to screw up your pay.  If they over pay you they are allowed to take it back as they deem and as much as they can at once with out notice.  But if they underpaid you they can take one year or even more to pay the military member back.

17.     Each military member has to apply and receive a government credit card, which is also part of the military members credit score.  The military can use that credit card when and for what ever they want.  But it does not mean that they have to pay the balance off by the due date.

18.     When a member deploys he has to pay for his own tickets LOL!  It is paid by the members government travel card.  

19.     If a military member is stuck in an overseas airport and has to use their personal funds to call the command to let them know, the military member must realize that the calls may not be covered.  And if they are it may take a year to receive pay back and the government never pays interest back.  

20.     After working hours parties (including ones with alcohol) have mandatory attendance.

21.     Their is no such thing as volunteering, you are voluntold!

22.      Support groups only provide support if it supports the military.  If the military spouse actually has a problem the military really does not care.  

23.     The military is "For Family and Marriage".  That is why the military member has to run a "Special Request Chit" to request for approval of marriage, but that does not guarantee leave and especially a honeymoon (I still don't know what that is).  But the military will give you leave for a divorce but not to avoid divorce (fix the relationship).

24.     New orders may mean lower pay with the same amount or more in bills.

25.     A shore station does not mean that the military member will not be deployed.

26.     Liberty actually means on call.

27.     A military members personal cell phone becomes the military members recall number.

28.     The military members credit score is used for their security clearances so it is advised to have good credit.  But in able to afford being in the military you must have a huge military emergency fund so you can pay for the lose of value in your house (if you want to be with the miltary member) and during the miltary members certain types of deployments (stay away from State Department).  So if your credit score is lower due to a foreclosure on a home it is frowned upon by the military and can affect the military members security clearance, but the military does not help families be able to afford the lose in value of their house to be able to move with the military member.  The military rathers the family to be left behind, after all they where not issued to the military member.

29.     Just because it is written in the "Military Rules and Regulations", certain commands can have their own and just don't care to follow the real rules and regulations.

30.     Just because you military spouse is home from deployment does not mean he gets to go home.

31.     Veterens Day is really for Active Duty.

32.     Even though typically one would assume that leave is for vacation it actually has to be saved for any type of family emergency.  Because "Emergency Free Leave" is only granted if you don't have any of your hard earned leave on the books.  But then why would a military family actually know what a family vacation is.  

33.     A response to a higher up is required by the close of business that day.  A response to your military member is determined with in the time frame chosen by the higher up.  And is normally responsed with a lie, passing the ball, or no response at all.

34.     A military member is now required to have a facebook account.  That way his command and who ever chooses can stalk the military members friends and families accounts.  This is what the higher ups do during their working hours.  And allows the higher ups time to call meeting with the military members to tell them to get their spouses in line.

35.     The military now controls if, when, and how long you actually get to be with your military spouse.

36.     In the end a families needs (even medical needs) do not matter.  You will eventually lose you military spouse to the military ways because as the family is constantly reminded that the Navy has changed and they really don't care.

37.     Can't help a military member if they don't want the help.  If they want to "hurry up and wait" since that is the Navy way it is on them.

38.     The family of the military member lives in Lala land because the Navy is the real life.  

39.     When the military members mentions that he/she may actaully want to live with his/her family the military has to look up the definition of family and live with.

40.     The spouse finally realizes that being a number is all it is.

41.     With all of the advances in technology the Navy still relies on out date equipment and techniques.  And communication with your military spouse is pretty much impossible.  If you need to have paperwork sent between each other you have to use the mail (and hopefully you have an address).  A fax machine requires special permission to use and many email programs are blocked on government computers.  If you do email a huge file there is no hook up that the military member can use to have internet access, unless they pay out of their own pocket monthly fees on a wi-fi card.  The only place for free internet is not always open and the internet is very slow.  And this is with in the states!  If you military spouse is deployed don't expect a phone number for them or even to contact their command.  If the member does have internet access it is very slow and sending files is pointless.  Even Skype does not always connect and typically has a very bad connection.  And when mailing out a package mail it out very early!  Makes you wonder how the higher ups are able to have easy communication to home port, but I am sure they are not having to much difficulty.